Humor: Star Wars Author Chuck Wendig Explains Han Solo’s Rescue From Jabba’s Palace

In response to a recent challenge from Mike Ryan from Uproxx daring anyone to try to explain the plan behind Han Solo’s rescue in Return of the Jedi, Star Wars author Chuck Wendig took to his blog to meet said challenge. After recognizing that Star Wars has always been more about heart than sound logic and admitting that this is a question that kid Chuck never even wondered about, he makes an attempt to explain the logic behind Luke’s plan to infiltrate Jabba’s palace. When you’re a Star Wars fan, you try to rationalize and explain every action and motivation of every character and every plot point down to the most minute detail – it’s just what you do.

 

In an attempt to explain the Han Solo Heist (because, as Chuck explains, it was indeed a heist), the author details the role and objective of every character, pointing out that the larger plan is actually a culmination of various fail-safes put into place to ensure a positive outcome based on the probability that success would be found by other means should one portion of the plan not go as hoped for, given the crew’s specific areas of expertise. Along the way, Chuck deduces something that we have always suspected but never really admitted – R2-D2 is a Jedi.

 

 

That’s right folks, you heard me correctly; R2-D2 can manipulate the Force to his advantage. Think about it…how else would he be able to work himself into just the right position all throughout the saga to be able to save the day time and time again like he always does? Artoo is the savior of the Star Wars universe. You know it, I know it, and Chuck knows it. Along with this mind-blowing revelation, Chuck goes on to explain the part that each character of the “Skywalker Six” had to play. You can read an excerpt from his post below, but head over to TerribleMinds to read the full article.

 

(from Chuck’s blog TerribleMinds):

Before we begin, this is what you need to understand about this Skywalker Six heist — it’s not just a single-serving plan, but rather, a series of failsafe sub-plans that culminate in the kind of extraction and result you’d get if you were all sitting around a roleplaying game table trying to get your characters to perform any complicated task (robbing a bank, invading a country, scheduling and hosting a galactic orgy). It’s less a “finely-tuned machine” of a plan and more the “Millennium Falcon” plan — it’s a ship, once designed for a purpose and since re-purposed with spare parts and swaddling tape and lots and lots of hope. Probably some midichlorians. That’s right, the Falcon is a Jedi. You know it. I know it. Artoo and the Falcon are basically the masterminds behind the entire Star Wars series — and you can learn more in my upcoming novel, Artoo and the Falcon, coming out from Del Rey Star Wars in May, 2042.

 

 

Lando has to go in first. He’s their scout. He hides in plain sight as a guard in the palace, and he’s just chilling there. One might ask, how does he get a job there, but you have to take for granted that he’s one of the galaxy’s greatest swindlers and con artists — if anybody can con his way into a job at the den of iniquity belonging to a greasy butt-slug, well, it’s Lando Motherf***ing Calrissian. Plus, Jabba’s gang doesn’t seem to be particularly discerning in terms of its employment practices, do they? From blubbery rancor keepers to murderous Twi’lek dancers to crummy bounty hunters, Jabba keeps a pretty cruddy crew around. I don’t get the sense he’s really in charge of hiring practices, either. Whatever shitty LinkedIn variant they use, it isn’t working. Point being, Lando is there.

 

 

The droids are utility players. Luke offers them up as a “gift,” knowing that his threat against Jabba won’t work — Jabba’s not a pushover, he’s not going to be like, “Whoa, what, a couple of droids? For Han Solo? F***ING SWEET. Boshuuuuda, motherf***ers, I hit the lottery. Somebody get Solo down off the wall. Dengar, you do it. Don’t give me that look, Dengar, you diaper-wearing scum, just do what I say or you’ll be rancor chum.”

And you can already see what Luke is doing here with this plan — he’s basically stacking the deck with his best players. He’s putting into play a number of critical assets, all hidden in plain sight, all able to be on-scene when the shit goes down. At any point, the plan could work and they could get Solo, and if that happens, it doesn’t end with barbecued Hutt-slug, but in place are also a series of failsafes — if the plan foils at Point A, they move to Plan B, and if that fails, then Plan C, and on and on, until, well, crispy strangled Hutt.

 

 

Chuck goes on to explain the roles of Leia and Chewie and how Leia’s plan, had it been successful, would have been the final step in rescuing Han Solo, relying on Lando to break out Chewie and Artoo to do what he always does and get himself and Threepio out from under Hutt servitude. But alas, it failed when Jabba had mysteriously hidden himself and his entire cabal in a small nook of his palace (which Chuck points out is possibly the biggest mystery of them all). Chuck continues…

 

 

From here on out, it’s Skywalker, the big gun, showing up and knowing he’s going to need his whole team for total extraction. And here the question might be, well, why doesn’t Luke just go in by himself right at the beginning? He could’ve, but that would leave him vulnerable at several steps along the way — getting Solo down and out is a task all unto itself. He needs assets in play. And the palace is stacked now with friendly faces. All of whom come into play at various points of the plan’s execution.

 

 

Chuck explains that once Luke’s lightsaber comes out, all of the various sub-plans come together into one cohesive larger plan to kill Jabba and get the team to safety. As Chuck admits, it’s a little clumsy, but with so many assets in play, the mission had a decent chance for success from the start. With only one of them doing their part, the heist would have failed miserably, but working together, they were able to swing the odds in their favor and give everyone’s favorite smuggler a chance to die another day.

 

So, what do you think? Anyone else care to meet the challenge?

 

 

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Jordan Pate is Co-Lead Editor and Senior Writer for Star Wars News Net, of which he is also a member of the book and comic review team. He loves all things Star Wars, but when he's not spending time in the galaxy far far away, he might be found in our own galaxy hanging out in Gotham City or at 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, NY.

Jordan Pate (Hard Case)

Jordan Pate is Co-Lead Editor and Senior Writer for Star Wars News Net, of which he is also a member of the book and comic review team. He loves all things Star Wars, but when he's not spending time in the galaxy far far away, he might be found in our own galaxy hanging out in Gotham City or at 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, NY.

38 thoughts on “Humor: Star Wars Author Chuck Wendig Explains Han Solo’s Rescue From Jabba’s Palace

  • March 14, 2018 at 6:25 pm
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    Love it! XD

    Now bring on the apologists of the OT to tell me TLJ was poorly written in comparison! 🙂

    I say Finn and Rose still had a better plan in place than our old gang 😛

    • March 14, 2018 at 10:10 pm
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      I will agree that the plan makes zero sense. But I won’t agree that while your friends are literally fleeing for their lives and time is of the essence that you have the time to stop and say, oh man these space horses aren’t being treated well, we have to do something!

      • March 15, 2018 at 12:07 am
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        …but what about the poor space horses?! show a little heart at least… 😛

  • March 14, 2018 at 6:51 pm
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    I thought the plan was pretty clear in the film

  • March 14, 2018 at 7:31 pm
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    Not gonna take ANYTHING that hack Wendig writes seriously. He’s the positivalutely WORST author in Star Wars history. The Aftermath books made Kevin J. Anderson look like John le Carré… and that’s SAYIN’ something.

    (Chuck if you’re reading this: a single comet will never spawn an entire asteroid field, they probably do not play Settlers of Catan in a galaxy far far away, and the Battle of Jakku should not be attempting to remake Tora! Tora! Tora! from the perspective of the Pearl Harbor post office.)

    • March 14, 2018 at 7:51 pm
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      I’ve read all three of the Aftermath novels. They were great fun and provided a much needed insight into the post-ROTJ galaxy. A new host of characters, plus familiar faces that felt authentic.

      • March 14, 2018 at 7:58 pm
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        Wendig also tried turning Star Wars into something it should never be: a political platform.

        Timeless legends remain timeless because they are about ideas, not about ideologies.

        • March 14, 2018 at 9:06 pm
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          Ah, there it is.

        • March 14, 2018 at 10:05 pm
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          Why, because he developed a character that was a gay imperial defector?

        • March 14, 2018 at 10:09 pm
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          Have you ever seen Star Wars?

        • March 14, 2018 at 10:25 pm
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          Ahhhhhhh now we get to the root of it. You don’t want “those” people getting in the way of some good, clean Star Wars fun.

          • March 14, 2018 at 10:48 pm
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            I don’t want ANY agenda being shoved into our faces through Star Wars. Using and exploiting it for political purposes diminishes the saga. And as I said, it robs from it its timeless qualities.

          • March 14, 2018 at 11:05 pm
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            Nothing was shoved in your face, least of all an “agenda.” He put a gay character in a Star Wars novel, big freaking deal. Star Wars is supposed to reflect our society; multi-cultural, filled with different ethnicities, genders, and sexual orientations. If introducing one gay character triggers you that much, then Star Wars is not going to be for you anymore.

          • March 14, 2018 at 11:54 pm
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            Apparently, the response I had composed did not meet some criteria among the good people at SWNN. A “political discussion” is something I did not desire to be involved in. Merely, that there is a drastic difference beteeen writing about ideas and writing about ideologies. One of those leads to appreciation and understanding while the other almost invariably leads to bitterness and loathing. When it is the latter, well… as I said, the timelessness of the story is diminished. And I’d rather that Star Wars hold some timelessness for all.

            So I shall simply bid thee a good evening.

          • March 15, 2018 at 6:25 am
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            Never fear. The original “Star Wars” is timeless…

          • March 14, 2018 at 11:37 pm
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            The point is that what you view as an agenda the rest of us see as normal because we aren’t coloring this work of fiction with our own prejudices and fears.

            Let me give you an example. You and I, because we’re rational people, see Star Wars as a classic battle of an obvious good vs. an apparent, insidious evil that oppresses free thinking sentient beings the galaxy over. However, let’s say someone happened to be the fascist dictator of a fledgling island nation. They might ban Star Wars from the island because in their paranoid, backward and syphilitic mind they perceive it to promote dangerous democratic ideas and race mixing. Obviously Palpatine is making the galaxy great again and if God wanted aliens hanging out together he wouldn’t have made them all different and spread them across the galaxy. A Wookie and a human sharing a cockpit? Disgusting! Not only can you and I, the right thinking people, identify the good guys in this tale, we’re not getting worked up by a bunch perceived threats based on our retrograde prejudices and fears.

            You see? We see Wookies and humans living in harmony and think nothing of it while sick people are upset by it pound out their disapproval on a keyboard and send their messages of exclusion into the void of an internet discussion board in a desperate attempt to seek validation and be comforted by the idea that they are not alone in an ever-changing world.

          • March 15, 2018 at 7:58 am
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            Wow. This is something. I almost don’t know how to respond….

            “Dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria….”

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:17 am
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            Star Wars itself is an analogy about ideology man. Has it ever occured to you that The Empire is a totalitarian dictatorship and the Rebellion is, well, a rebellion/freedom fighters. (one can even say that the Rebellion is a terrorist organization and the Empire is an analogy to current US middle eastern politics. But I know saying that will put me on thin ice. But I don’t care, I’m German, I can say that).

            Plus, if you watch the Prequels cloesely and actually listen to George, it’s no secret that he developed the story out of response to the Bush administration. I quote Anakin: “If you’re not with me, you are my enemy.” Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?

            And now I’m gonna get slammed. Bring it on guys!

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:25 am
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            “Analogy about ideology”. I rather like that 🙂

            Some have claimed over the years that the Ewoks are synonymous with the Vietcong. That the Ewoks are also occupied by a foreign military and are trying to defeat them despite their own technological inferiority.

            Are the Ewoks supposed to be the Vietcong? Maybe. Maybe not. It’ll be argued about long after we have passed on. That’s a good thing. But it was never blatantly implied “HEY THE EWOKS ARE NORTH VIETNAMESE!!”

            As for George W. Bush… I thought we were discussing INTELLECTUALS here 😛

          • March 14, 2018 at 11:06 pm
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            And Wendig has conveyed the WORST attitude outside of his work toward others. His profanity alone would disqualify him from ever again contributing to most franchises.

            You don’t build up and retain an audience by insulting them. And so far as injecting politics into ANY story goes, well… A Wrinkle In Time is demonstrating that right now. HOW does A Wrinkle In Time get messed up?? That should have been box office gold. It should have made Black Panther come in second place finally. Instead word got out early that the heart of this story had been ripped out and in its place some weird mysticobabble was shoved in. And so it is that a novel’s fan base for more than half a century avoided the movie like the plague.

            A Wrinkle In Time the novel is about IDEAS. A Wrinkle In Time the 2018 film adaptation is about IDEOLOGIES. And Disney is going to take a bath on it.

            There is no reason why it couldn’t happen to Star Wars, either.

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:18 am
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            Oh, I just thought A Wrinkle in Time looked dumb and I couldn’t figure out what it was about but maybe you’re right and the 90% of the potential audience that have never even heard of the book were concerned about its heart.

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:29 am
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            The novel is a true classic. It also goes into deep, deep themes and ideas especially since it was targeted at younger readers.

            A few years before she passed I got to meet Madeleine L’Engle. Had lunch with her too. Very, very amazing lady. Hers was a most extraordinary mind and her spirit was as gentle as it was of stalwart conscience.

          • March 15, 2018 at 6:33 am
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            “A Wrinkle in Time” was the first full novel I read as a little kid. I loved it. It’s been 30 years since I read it, and I don’t remember much (really any) of the details about it, I just remember it filled me with a sense of wonder and excitement. A lot like “Star Wars.” But I was a kid. Often, I wish I still was…

        • March 15, 2018 at 12:01 am
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          wait… so you basically just said that classics like 1984, Fahrenheit 451 and V For Vendetta aren’t timeless because they are not only about ideas, but also about ideologies?

          And I’m talking about the (graphic) novels…

          how narrow minded of you…

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:15 am
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            1984 and Fahrenheit 451, and Dune and Foundation and To Kill A Mockingbird and Atlas Shrugged and many other novels… they are absent any temporal ideological agenda. But they DO make the reader think. And to think for himself or herself. And that’s what makes them stories that the reader will return to again and again. Because they are about IDEAS. Ideas that get discussed in high school and college classes, and over dinner with friends and on long car trips and brought up in sermons and public lectures. They are about ideas we can and should discuss and debate and argue about, and that’s kinda the point of it.

            The author assuming the role of thinking for the reader? Infusing it with an agenda? That’s the red line to the basement, where in time the rats and roaches will consume the paper and cardboard.

          • March 15, 2018 at 12:18 am
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            The novels I mentioned above have a pretty clear message if you ask me, thank you very much!

  • March 14, 2018 at 7:46 pm
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    Artoo rhymes with Sue. Distant cousin of Mary and Gary. R-Sue-D2

  • March 14, 2018 at 9:38 pm
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    I wonder what happened AFTER they blew Jabba and his gang to pieces. How was THAT for the population of Tattooine, where the Hutt law was a part of everyday life, giving them at least SOME sense of order and security.

    When you destroy a tyranny, you kinda got to replace it with something better. Otherwise an even worse form of government takes place. Or a civil war breaks out in the struggle for power. Guess Luke didn’t really have THAT in mind, huh?

    • March 14, 2018 at 10:11 pm
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      Literally read the Aftermath trilogy and you will get that answer.

    • March 14, 2018 at 10:12 pm
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      Its briefly covered in a few the 300 interludes in Wendig’s Aftermath trilogy. You can find an explanation in Star Wars explained on YouTube if you’re not interested in reading the books. The first one is slow and hard to get through. Books 2 and 3 really get the story going though.

    • March 14, 2018 at 11:35 pm
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      This is total ingerence from Luke. lol

  • March 14, 2018 at 11:34 pm
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    How much is really between 5 and 6 ? i ve heard for years. Is it right ?

    • March 14, 2018 at 11:47 pm
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      Three years.

      • March 15, 2018 at 6:42 am
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        Not sure if that’s right. My understanding is that there’s 3 years between “A New Hope” and “The Empire Strikes Back,” and there’s 1 year between “Empire” and “Return of the Jedi.” Poor Han was stuck in carbonite for an entire year. I wonder why it took so long for the “Skywalker Six” to break him out…

  • March 15, 2018 at 12:28 am
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    The force will guide us. What else do you need to wonder about other than that.

  • March 15, 2018 at 1:07 am
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    Thank god Rian Johnson did not try to explain! I think he’s done enough damage

    • March 15, 2018 at 4:43 am
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      Please hush up.

  • March 15, 2018 at 7:31 am
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    As I’ve gotten older, I’ve often reflected on the “Solo escape plan” from ROTJ. It’s a bit “Ocean’s 11,” but it mostly works. The main thing I still wonder about is why didn’t Boba Fett recognize Lando Calrissian? Fett is revered as the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy, but he couldn’t recognize Lando in a helmet and partial mask? That just threw Boba off too much? Or maybe Fett knew it was Lando, it was just that Lando had decided to step down from administrator of Cloud City to become a henchman for a fat, giant worm gangster on a backwater dirt planet. It’s not like Han and Lando used to be friends or anything, so Lando would never have any plans to free Han – especially if he might feel guilt over the fact that he was directly responsible for putting Han in carbonite. No, nothing suspicious there. That’s the only thing I still really struggle with. But all of it is so much fun it’s easy to forget these logical missteps…

    Additionally – I’ve never read any of Wendig’s books, but his writing seems pretty clever and funny here. I’ve heard all the negative feedback about his writing, but based on this small sample it doesn’t seem so bad….

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